This free private group is specifically to talk about personal boundaries and Human Giver Syndrome. How do you know you need boundaries? One sign is spending too much of your time and energy feeling resentful, rushed, run down, burned out, irritated, grumpy, overwhelmed, overlooked or taken for granted.
This is also the place for you if you are worried that setting boundaries will make you feel guilty, hurt somebody's feelings or let somebody down.
Human Giver Syndrome is the set of beliefs that says some humans "should" pour out everything - their time, energy, money, and emotional life - to make sure their people succeed and thrive. It's a belief that has existed for thousands of years and it's embedded in a lot of families and cultures, BUT that doesn't make it true or right for you.
Join us here if you happen to be a human being. We're going to talk a lot about family caregiving here, but you're welcome to be here even if you don't happen to be somebody with family caregiving responsibilities.
This is a place for healthy community support for all of us who want to set and enforce boundaries. In this community, nobody is going to "should" all over you. We talk about possibilities and what can be, not what you should do or should feel.
Here, you're going to find a space that's both safe and brave.
Hi there! I'm Kay Coughlin. I'm a business coach in the non-profit space, mother to two teenage boys, wife of 28 years, and I'm also the primary caregiver for my own mom (so I am a "sandwich family" caregiver). My mom lives next door to us in central Ohio. I lived way too much of my life without understanding boundaries and without feeling like I had a right to set them for myself. Turns out I was living with the unspoken expectations of Human Giver Syndrome too - even though I never asked for it or agreed to it.
I created this community to be a place to get the help to live MY life that I haven't found anywhere else. It's a safe and brave place for us to figure this out and support each other, together.
I'm a fiercely independent woman, and I started dabbling in setting boundaries a couple of decades ago, but I didn't know what I was doing. So I got it right sometimes and I got it wrong a lot more. I just couldn't find the help I needed. I couldn't find anybody who wanted to talk about boundaries, so I stumbled around trying to figure it out for myself. When I became an early-stage caregiver sometime around 2010, my boundary issues and Human Giver Syndrome status got to be way more difficult for me to navigate.
My business is called Facilitator On Fire and you can find the website at FacilitatorOnFire.net. I'm a business coach for leaders in non-profits and the non-profit service sector, and I do a lot of presenting on boundaries (keynotes, lunch & learns, workshops, etc). You can find my podcast, which is called "From One Caregiver to Another," here.
We are committed to creating a community that is a safe place to express yourself and ask difficult questions. You won't be able to see anything in the actual forum until you join. Since this is a free community, there is no risk to you - if you don't like the forum, you can remove yourself any time you like. (See what we did there? We're demonstrating healthy boundaries already!)
If you would like more information, have a question about this community, if you would like to schedule a podcast interview or keynote address or if you have any other media inquiries, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/LearnMore for contact info. Thank you!
Looking for Kay's "Boundaries Episodes Playlist?" You'll find it at FacilitatorOnFire.net/BoundariesPlaylist/.